Gurvinder Dhesi Counsellor East Barnet, London N20

'Two roads diverged in the wood, and I, I took the one less travelled by And that has made all the difference.' - Robert Frost

Individual/ Couples Counselling & Psychotherapy. Sky & Fields Painting SMAX

My Approach

I offer evidence based psychological therapy which is collaborative, respectful and tailored to you. My aim is to help you understand yourselves and to gain insight through self-knowledge and lived experience. My hope is that you get to know and accept who you truly are, and in the process find meaning in life and overcome its difficulties. By gaining insight you can take charge of your life and be empowered to make informed choices.

The way I work

I am trained as an integrative counsellor and combine approaches to psychotherapy based on the presenting concerns and needs of my clients. I take the view that there is no single approach that can treat all people in all situations as each individual’s therapeutic journey is specific to their individual needs and personal circumstances. I see individuals and couples on a weekly basis. It's sometimes possible however to arrange a one off single session or more intense blocks of sessions can be arranged which can be very effective during crisis.

I provide short-term using the Intensive Short-term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP), which aims at treating patients with psychoneurosis (environmentally acquired mental illness). Both treatments focus on unconscious mental processes (perceptions, past events, feelings about events, and distorted beliefs) as the cause of neurotic disorders. ISTDP, experience of core emotion from the past is seen as the transformative vehicle and the therapist relies on non-interpretive techniques: encouragement to feel; challenge to take responsibility to change; and confrontation of resistance to change. Suitability will be determined at a trial therapy session.

Individual/ Couples Counselling & Psychotherapy. Psychoanalytic Group Escher hand with reflecting sphere WIDE

What conditions can counselling & psychotherapy help with?

• Abuse
• Addiction
• Anger
• Anxiety and stress
• Bereavement and loss
• Depression
• Eating disorders
• Health issues
• Major life changes
• Phobias and fears
• Redundancy and work issues
• Relationship difficulties
• Trauma
• Violence

Couples Therapy

Individual/ Couples Counselling & Psychotherapy. Two People Talking SMAX

Although often distressing, problems in intimate relationships are normal.

Most people start to feel anxious and fearful when they experience their partners as too distant, having lost connection, understanding and communication. Once problems are being discussed in a never ending negative loop, we quickly and naturally become exhausted, defensive and agitated.

Couples counselling or couples therapy, can quickly diffuse tension and conflict, paving the way towards more positive and productive communication. Encouraging couples to listen differently and be open to learning something new builds confidence for closeness and connection. This strengthens relationships and promotes the intimacy sought by so many. We truly thrive when we feel a sense of loving attachment as well as a sense of individuality and freedom.

If we can view a repetitive problem differently, our success at resolving the issue increases dramatically, but often at times of stress, we can often find our selves ill-equipped to reflect on what has happened and find positive ways forward.

If, ultimately, couples choose to separate, time can be spent making sure that emotions are calmed and that certain practicalities, such as the welfare of children, can be thoughtfully reflected on.

It is important to know that I often meet one partner for some sessions, before the other joins us. This often proves positive for both as long as certain issues have been discussed.

What are the most common issues couples bring to counselling?

Arguing and lack of communication
Babies/ Loss
Children leaving home
Feeling lost, lonely, uncertain
Sexual drought or boredom
Times of transition

Whilst couples therapy is ideally suited to couples attending the sessions together, sometimes one partner is reluctant to attend, so you can look to speak to a couples counsellor on your own, to begin with. You might find your partner wants to join you after you’ve had some initial sessions alone and it can be helpful to intersperse couple sessions with individual sessions.

If this has got you thinking, please contact me.

How I work in Couples Therapy

I work from a positive, engaged perspective. My stance is warm, but neutral, non-judgmental but enquiring. Curiosity about what has arisen and how we can resolve issues guides my therapeutic direction in an informed, professional and collaborative way.

You are the experts on your lives but recognise that some difficulties could benefit from another perspective.

I believe people want to leave therapy confident in their new skills to tackle any future problems quickly, effectively and amicably. This will increase a sense of stability and knowledge, leading couples to embrace intimacy and passion together, or in other future relationships. It is these contributing factors that both re-stabilise relationships and provide the optimism and momentum to move forward.

Please go to FAQ for fee charges.

What benefits can be expected?

An individual’s pace and learning process is unique. Those people who benefit most from counselling and psychotherapy show commitment and perseverance with the process. We have a deeper and wiser self which knows what's required to unfold and to develop. Existing destructive patterns of behaviour or negative thinking can block this process and I will challenge this.

My approach attempts to identify and build your strengths and resources while tackling the existing problems. I expect you to take responsibility for your own recovery and life process, and in turn gain awareness of how you have not done so in the past. I believe we can be so much more than we are!

Client Testimonials:

''very insightful and supportive'' - Matt, London

''I'd really like to place on record my incredible gratitude towards Gurvinder for helping me through some very difficult times and for also enabling me to evaluate myself, my behaviour, feelings, emotions and tendencies from a perspective I had never done so from'' - Sam, London

''Gurvinder is a very down to earth person and easy to get on a level with. She is genuinely sympathetic and a great listener, but she's also willing to challenge you, and present new concepts in a way which encourages you to tackle your issues head on within the session'' - Harry, London

''Gurvinder is able to create a safe space to enable discussion, challenge long held views and encourage me to manage my anxiety'' - Harriet, London

''I'd like to thank Gurvinder for guiding me through some challenging memories and areas of conversation, it has been really appreciated in terms of making real lasting changes in my life''-Tom, London

''Lots of different techniques used. Some very interesting questions asked and tools given'' - Jamie, London

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